


if i could begin to be half what of what you think me

by my_dearest_laurens_the_war_is_over



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, alex is a flirt and a loser, also, also smol, but still taller that alex, def not slow burn, haha im gonna try to make this a longer one, here goes nothing, john is also smol, john works at a flower shop but its not really a flower shop au, my first chaptered fic since homestuck oh boy, okay, u dig me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-08-14 15:17:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8019007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_dearest_laurens_the_war_is_over/pseuds/my_dearest_laurens_the_war_is_over
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>john and alex are really gay and it's full of fluff</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. all was golden when the day met the night

Alexander Hamilton was a flirt.

He was handsome, even with the dark circles under his eyes and messy hair, he had girls and boys falling at his feet. He could charm his way out of any situation, with the right words and the right body language. That's why when Alexander fell for a stranger, he didn't know what to do.

This stranger was beautiful. He had freckled, sun kissed skin, with soft looking curly hair, put into a messy ponytail. His eyes were mixes of browns and greens and auburns; a warm autumn morning. And finally, his smile. His smile was just like the sun. It shone bright and warmed Alex from the inside out. 

No matter how hard Alex tried, he couldn't get this boy off his mind. He found it kind of embarrassing, as Alex hadn't even interacted with the boy. He just saw him from across campus, immediately breath taken. If he was being honest, Alex was kind of scared. He always knew what to do in any situation, but he didn't know how to get this boy, a total stranger, off his mind. 

That's why he went to his close friend, Lafayette, who knew everybody on campus.

"Hey, Laf?" the Frenchman looked over at Alex as they both lounged around in Lafayette's dorm room. 

"What is the matter, _mon ami_?" Alex bit his lip.

"Do you know a boy," Alex started,"With a face full of freckles, super curly hair, and is kinda short? Not, like, my short, but pretty close. He has browny-green eyes and an amazing smile, like, a smile whose brightness could compete with the sun and win?" Alex stopped himself before he started full on rambling about the boy. Lafayette pondered for a moment before his face lit up in recognition.

"I believe the boy you are speaking of is John Laurens, mon ami." 

 _John Laurens_ , Alex thought, _What a wonderful name._

"Do you know anything else about him?" Alex wanted to know more about John Laurens

"I believe he is majoring in Pre-Med, but that is all I know about him. Why do you ask, _Alexandre_? 

"Oh, uh, no reason." Alex stuttered, face shaded a pink hue. Laf gasped.

"Does my dear Alexander have a, how you say, crush?" He wiggled his eyebrows at Alex.

"Of course not," Alex sat up on the couch,"I don't get crushes. People get crushes on me, Laf." Lafayette gave Alexander a questioning look.

"Really?"

"Yes, really, Laf, and I definitely wouldn't get a crush on a stranger." Alex crossed his arms over his chest; defensive.

"Oh,  _mon cher_ , you are in denial." Laf patted Alex on the shoulder. Alex only huffed in response, he knew Laf was right, and Laf knew Alex knew he was right. Alexander Hamilton had a crush on a stranger.

 

Alex grumbled to himself as he walked to the flower shop close to campus. He had to get Lafayette apology flowers because he punched him in the nose.

 _It's not my fault_ , Alex thought as he opened the door to the flower shop, _he's the one who walked up behind me and scared the shit out of me. If anything he should be the one apologi-_

Alex stopped thinking as he saw the familiar freckled face at the shop's counter. 

_John Laurens_

Alex's breath hitched. He slowly walked into the store, his eyes still glued to the cashier. John was busy wrapping a bouquet for an old woman. After John handed the woman her bouquet and she paid, he looked over at Alex, giving him a small smile. Alex quickly turned around, suddenly interested in the assortment of flowers in front of him. 

After about ten minutes of looking for some good apology flowers, Alex just walked around aimlessly, looking at the same flowers over and over again. He had no idea what kind of flowers to get as an apology. 

_What if I accidentally get him flowers that mean I want you dead? Why is this so fucking hard?_

"Is there anything I can help you with?" Someone, with a really nice voice, brought him out of his thoughts. He turned around, face to face with John Laurens.

"Uh, no, wait yeah, um, uh..." _Real eloquent Alex._ John laughed, which Alex decided was the best sound in the world.

"What are you looking for?" John's voice was kind and warm, just like his smile, which never left his face. 

"I need to get some apology flowers for somebody." Alex rubbed the back of his neck; a small blush danced across his face. 

"Hmm," John pondered what to say,"Why do you need these apology flowers?" He settled on asking.

"Well, I, uh, may have punched him" Alex mumbled, just audible enough for John to hear him. John laughed again, music to Alex's ears. 

"Well, you're lucky I know so much about flowers." John said as he walked around the shop to different flowers.

"You'll need white tulips, blue hyacinths, and finally yellow roses." John grabbed a handful of each flower and walked back to the counter, Alex following. 

"So," John started assorting the flowers,"What's your name?" 

"Alexander Hamilton. Yours?" Alex asked, though he already knew the answer.

"John Laurens, it's nice to meet you Alexander," John handed Alex the bouquet,"Hope to see you around." He gave Alex a breathtaking smile.

"Y-yeah." Alex stuttered and payed for the flowers.

 

"LAF I GOT YOUR STUPID FLOWERS!" Alex called to Lafayette as he entered the dorm. 

"Thank you, _mon ami_ ," Alex handed Laf the flowers,"And there is no need to yell." Laf mumbled the last part mostly to himself.

"You'll never believe who sold me the flowers."Alex said.

"Thomas Jefferson?" Laf joked. Alex pretended to throw up.

"God no, it was the most beautiful creature to walk this Earth, not that pompous asshole." Alex collapsed onto Laf's couch. 

"The most beautiful creature to walk this Earth? But, mon petit lion, I did not sell you these flowers." Laf said, sending Alex a wink. Alex rolled his eyes.

"I'm talking about the actual ray of sunshine that is John Laurens." Alex said dreamily. Lafayette laughed.

"You are in deep, _mon ami_." Alex sighed.

"I know."


	2. as we travel through snow, together we go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lunch invantation w/ appearances from the schuylers and your favorite fashion designer

"Alexander!" Alex turned around, seeing a three figures walking towards him. 

"If it isn't the Schuyler sisters." Alex smiled at three of his closest friends, more like family. 

"It's been forever 'Lex, how've you been?" Peggy smiled and threw her arm around his shoulders. 

"Pegs, I just saw you two days ago, it hasn't been that long." Alex rolled his eyes. 

"Well, it's felt like centuries, especially 'cause I've got some hot gossip about TJ I've been wanting to tell you." 

"You've got to tell me about Jefferson later, I was actually on my way to help Herc with some designs." Peggy pouted, but unwrapped her arm from his shoulders. 

"Please come visit us later on today." Eliza said, stopping him before he could leave.

"Yes, Alex, you need a break, and, Laf told us you have a hot crush you need to tell us about." Angelica winked at the end, a smirk on her lips. Alex spluttered.

"I-i'm gonna punch that assfuck." Alex muttered, "I'll come by later to visit and talk. Herc's gonna be pissed if I'm late, I got to go. Love you guys." Alex blew them a kiss, the three blew kisses back, saying goodbye.

 

"So Laf told me you have a little crush." Herc spoke with a needle in his mouth, measuring the cloths draped on Alex's arms.

"Why is he telling everybody?" Alex whined.

"Alex, if you don't want a needle in your arm, _again_ , please keep still." Alex huffed, keeping his arm straight. 

"Seriously though, why does Laf think he can just tell people about my personal thoughts and feelings that I trusted him to keep secret?" Herc rolled his eyes at Alex's theatrics. 

"You know you would've just told us anyway, so stop complaining and start keeping still." Alex sighed and kept still. 

An hour later, Herc was done with the outfit he was working on. Setting down his needle, he turned to Alex. 

"Do you want some coffee, we haven't just sat around and talked for a while." Alex thought for a moment and nodded. 

"That sounds good." So, Herc and Alex sat on Herc's couch watching T.V. and sipping coffee, talking about life and college. Alex looked at the time a jumped up with a start. 

"Oh, I hadn't realized it was already afternoon. I'm sorry Herc, I have to go, I have homework I need to get done." 

"Ok, but before you go, here, it's cold out there, wouldn't want you to freeze out there." Herc wrapped a plaid scarf around Alex's neck. 

"Thanks Herc, I'll see you later." Alex gave him a hug. Herc returned it quickly, ruffling his hair a bit. 

"Have fun with homework." Alex rolled his eyes. 

"I'll try." They said quick goodbyes and Alex left for his dorm, the frost for outside freezing the water on the ground. Alex's teeth clattered as he walked to campus. He looked around. Although he hated the winter, he had to admit that this time of year brought a certain warmth to the city. Buildings were decorated for the holidays and lights were hung on trees, some even sported ornaments. Alex smiled to himself. Everyone even seemed a little nicer, and he was happy to say that. As he was lost in thought, Alex managed to slip on a piece of ice. 

"Woah." Alex was held up by someone, their arm wrapped around his waist. The person pulled him up with ease. "That was close."

"Yeah, sorry about that." Alex apologized, looking at his savior. "oh. Laurens?" John's eyes lit up in recognition, a 350 watt smile on his face. 

"Alexander! Wonderful to see you again." 

"It's wonderful to see you too, Laurens." Alex tried to match John's smile, it was contagious. 

"Hey, if you don't mind, do you want to come with me to the campus cafe?" John asked, scratching the back of his neck. 

"I'd love to, I haven't eaten at all today." John's smile,although seemingly impossible, grew brighter. He linked his and Alex's arms together.

"Let's go!" Alex blushed from the close contact, though if John asked, he'd say it was from the cold. 

"Lead the way." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, look who decided to update,, im so so so sorry for not updating, school got a lot and i really didn't have the motivation, but i promise the next update will be faster and not nearly as short as this one. i was gonna write out the actually date, but its really late and i knew if i waited til the morning to get this done it wouldn't be done until the new year. so yeah, a short update, but one nonetheless  
> remember, drink water, eat something, take a deep breath, take a break hope yall have an amazing day/night/evening   
> -ry


	3. heres to the fools who dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lunch date and all over the place conversation

Alex and John sit at a window seat table, basking in the warm atmosphere of the cafe.

"So," John starts,"Let's get to know each other, Alexander. What do you major in?" 

"I'm double majoring in Political Science and History, what about you, John?" Alex asks. 

"I'm in pre med, hoping to become a pediatrician." John finishes just as the waitress comes over to their table. 

"What can I get you guys today?" 

"A black coffee will be all for me." Alex answers

"I would like a hot chocolate with a sugar cookie, please." John smiles at the waitress, who nods with a smile of her own. 

"Coming right up." As the waitress left, Alex looked over to John.

"You seem to always be smiling." Alex commented, leaning on his hand. 

"Is that a bad thing?" John asked.

"No, not at all," Alex reassured,"It's refreshing, seeing something so bright in the dull tones of winter." At that, John grinned, with a slight blush. 

"I don't think winter's all that dull, there's so many lights, what with the holidays and all." John said. Alex smiled. 

"What's you're favorite season?" Alex asked. 

"Autumn, hands down," John said with a sparkle in his eyes,"There's so much color, the trees, the sunrises and sunsets. It's the perfect weather to just sit outside and be one with nature." John had a dazed look in his eyes. 

"Sounds like you enjoy nature." Alex noted.

"I enjoy life, it was meant to be enjoyed. Of course, there are days where everything just gets to be too much and smiling's harder." John spoke softly, drumming his fingers on the table. 

"I know what you mean, but, we just have to get through it." Alex spoke just as softly. The waitress came back with their orders. 

"Here you go." She said with a smile. 

"Thank you so much darlin'." John drawled. She blushed, nodding and going off to take someone else's order. 

"Look who's Mr. Southern Charm." Alex teased. John chuckled. 

"Never leaves you." John mumbled. 

"Where are you from?" Alex asked after a sip of his coffee. 

"South Carolina, you?" John dipped his cookie in his hot chocolate. 

"Little place in the Caribbean, Saint Kitts and Nevis."

"Ooh, sounds pretty." John said.

"Yeah, it was." Alex drew little patterns in the table with his finger.

"Was?" John inquired.

"A big hurricane destroyed my town, and so much bad shit happened there that it only brings back bad memories." Alex said, surprised by how much he was telling John.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to bring back any bad memories." John apologized.

"It's ok." Alex reassured.

"If it helps any, I didn't have the best childhood either." John said.

"How so?"

"I was oldest son of a Southern, Republican senator, who happened to be gay." John responded. 

"oh." 

"Yeah, but, growing up in that toxic environment gave me a dream." 

"Oh?" Alex was interested. 

"I dream of becoming this huge advocate for LGBT people, and opening a charity and youth center for any kids who need help, whether their LGBT or just runaways." John confessed. 

"Well," Alex said,"When I become a huge politician, I'll promote your charity and help you accomplish that dream." 

"Here's to us." John raised his hot chocolate. 

"The fools who dream." Alex raised his coffee and hit it against John's hot chocolate. They both laughed. 

"We're such dorks." John chuckled. 

"That we are." Alex agreed. 

 

Hours passed in the cafe as Alex and John learned more about each other. They had similar political and social views, and agreed on a lot of issues. 

"I'd say we're a match made in heaven." John claimed. Alex snorted, a blush overcoming his face. 

"Fuck," Alex breathed,"Listen, I've got to get going, I have an essay to write." 

"I get it," John nodded understandably,"Here." John grabbed a pen from the table and grabbed Alex's arm. 

"What are y-" Before Alex could finish, he was interrupted by John.

"My number, I want to hang out more, you're really amazing, Alexander." John beamed. Alex melted a little. 

"Of course, you're not so bad yourself, Laurens." Alex slid off the booth, John following after. 

"This is where we part." Alex said once they reached outside. He shivered, the winter air freezing him to the bone. 

"Here, babygirl." John wrapped his jacket around Alex, who was a blushing mess. 

"Thank you, but you don't have to, aren't you cold?" John shook his head.

"I'm fine, I'll see you later Alexander." John gave Alex and hug, one Alex wished lasted longer, and walked to where ever he was headed. Alex snuggled into John's jacket, and walked to his dorm. Not for the first time, Alex wished he had just a little bit more time. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look who decided to update, jfc, im so sorry yall. im on spring break rn and i knew i had to update bc school has been terrible and stressful lately  
> this update took way longer than last time and wasnt much longer, and im sorry for that, ill try to do better next time, it shouldnt take to long for the next chapter  
> anyway, i hope yall liked the update, ily, hope yall had a wonderful day/evening/night  
> <3- ry  
> (also, chapter title is from la la land, highly recommend it!!)


	4. o kiss me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow, that was fast

Snow drifted around, decorating the trees and buildings, making for quite a sight. Alex admired the view, a soft smile on his lips. A woman bumped into him, giving him a look before she speed walked away. Alex scowled, walking toward his destination. 

“Long time no see, stranger.” John leaned over the checkout desk. 

“Hey John.” It’d been a month since they had their little date at the coffee shop. Alex and John had become pretty good friends, they texted everyday, called each other every other day, and met for lunch after leaving twice a week. 

“Come for the flowers or for me?” John asked, joking tone. 

“Actually, both.” Alex smiled, “What time does your shift end?” 

“30 minutes, but James is in the back already so i can have him start early.” 

“Great, also, can you make me a bouquet before we head off?” John chuckled. 

“That's my job. What flowers you want?” 

“Pink peonies and red spider lilies.” Alex leaned on the counter as John walked over to gather the flowers. 

“Quite the bouquet, who's it for?” John asked.

“These are actually for me.” He watched John make the bouquet, no doubt making heart eyes. 

“Well, you have excellent taste.” John handed him the flowers, untying his apron and calling for James. 

“You can cover right, you don't mind?” He asked. 

“No, it's fine, beats being in the back.” James spoke softly, giving a small smile. 

“Thank you!” John hugged him, James reluctantly hugging back. Alex chuckled.

“C'mon, let's go.” He wrapped his arm around John’s waist, John wrapping his around Alex's shoulders. 

 

“I actually hate you.” John said, laughter breaking through his words. Alex laughed hard, offering a hand to help John off the snow covered ground. John took his hand, pulling him down. Alex yelped, landing next to him. 

“Fuck you.” He spoke with a smile. John barked out a laugh, laying starfish style in the ground. He moved his arms and legs, creating indents in the snow. Alex looked at him with confusion. 

“What are you doing, goofball?” 

“I'm making a snow angel.” John replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“You're already a snow angel.” Alex put his hands over his mouth, blush spreading over his face. John turned to look at him, amused smile and crimson blush decorating his face. 

“Thanks.” He sat up, “It's cold, let's head to your dorm.” John help out his hand. Alex took it, still blushing and embarrassed. They walked together to Alex's dorm, never letting go of each other's hand. 

 

Alex opened his dorm door, holding it open for John. 

“Honey, I'm home!” Alex shouted, making Laf jump. 

“You're the worst type of person.” He took out his earphones, turning his chair around. 

“Hey.” John greeted Laf with a sunshine smile. 

“Bright as always.” Laf said, giving him a smile.

John had met Laf and the rest of Alex's friends by week one of them talking. They got along really well, he fit right in.

Alex took the bouquet of peonies and spider lilies and placed it in a vase on his desk. “They look nice.” John leaned against his back, arms snaked around his waist. Alex blushed, but kept his cool. 

“Yeah, it's nice to have something decorating the desk.” He turned in John's arms, facing him. He studied his face, admiring everything, from his warm, welcoming eyes, to his now tentative and soft smile. He lifted his hand, tracing his freckles, making constellations on his skin. 

“I can't believe I'm staring at a living angel.” Alex cupped John's face with his hand. 

“You could be kissing one.” With that John leaned in, closing the small space between them. John’s lips were soft; he was warm. Alex melted into the kiss, closing his eyes. He took in everything about John. He smelled like Christmas cookies, tasted like cheap coffee, and Alex loved it. They broke apart, leaning their foreheads against each other's. Alex's eyes flickered over John's face. He was radiating heat, his cheeks a deep red. 

“Woah.” John laughed.

“Did I make Alexander Hamilton speechless?” John said. He pecked John's lips.

“Maybe.” A cough. The pair jumped away from each other. 

“That was sweet and all, but I'm trying to study so if you two can go be lovebirds somewhere else that'd be great.” He turned around and plugged in his headphones. Alex and John shared a look, and burst out laughing. 

“I can't believe that just happened.” John said, still laughing. Alex snorted, holding onto John for balance.

“Well, you heard the man, let's get out of here.” Alex dragged John out of the room. Hand in hand they walked in the cold winter air, warmed by the presence of each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow someone finally decided to update, im so so sorry. im actually on summer vacation now so hopefully i can update more. also, if u guys like it, please comment, it really motivates me to write. this one wasn't too short, but it wasn't really long. @ authors that write more than 1,000 words per chapter, i have a question, how???? anyway, i hope y'all liked this chapter also, um, it basically wrote itself, like, that desk scene just happened. it's 5 am and i haven't slept, it's fine, hope y'all have an amazing day/night <3  
> -ry

**Author's Note:**

> wow not angst amazing. ill try to update this whenever i can but school is terrible so ye  
> please feel free to leave kudos and comments!  
> (the title of the fic is from steven universe, love like you and the title chapter is panic! at the disco, when the day met the night)


End file.
